It All Began When...

Eve

There was a great beauty by the Tree,

Less sense, I fear, and wit;

She showed herself a harlotry,

And did as she thought fit.

The knees uncrossed in Paradise

Were fatal to our kind--

O that the Boss had given her

More brain and less behind!

If she had not opened up

To Adam her man, and made

Men, there would have been no

Strife, and sparring with spade;

And all our pilling woes

Stopped at the very Spring--

Innocent as the rose

Then, each rejoicing Spring.

by Arthur J. Bull

Bull's misogynistic irreverence is conscious in this poem. He laments that Eve ever "knew" Adam (in the biblical sense, pun intended) and begat children, for without that original procreative episode, there would be no man and, therefore, no manmade suffering visited upon mankind. Like Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, for example.